Get Real For Good During the Holidays

by Bobbi Jo Reed

This is the time of year that we get to be thankful for all things; or we are supposed to.

Being real with your thankfulness can be a hard task for anyone, much less the recovering addict. Their world is one of struggling with not getting things back as fast as they may like or the mom who has finally started to recover from a very long and drawn out drug addiction. and thinks she needs to be super mom for the holidays and buy the entire world up for her kiddos (yes dad this can be you too).

This is one of the worst times of year for the addict. It’s because we all have some holiday memories that we probably don’t want to remember, or we worry about those awkward family gatherings where we are just sure our pasts are going to be thrown in our faces. For some it’s because we aren’t ready to face the reality that we were very sick for a very long time.

So, with that being said — ALL of my fellow readers, please know — with the holidays coming it DOES NOT mean that we all have to miraculously be perfect. Good thing because our families will most certainly not be perfect either.

Always remember, just because you are getting better does not mean your family is so anxious to forgive and forget. They aren’t going to “poof” and instantly be the perfect family you always hoped and dreamed them to be.

So what this means is: You must accept what your boundaries are and learn to stick with them.

If that means that you the (former, but ever aware) alcoholic cannot go to “Aunt Mitsies” for Thanksgiving because your dear old Aunt likes to toss the eggnog back like it’s going out of style and you fear that you aren’t going to be able to abstain, then don’t go! Don’t take the chance. If your family doesn’t understand, you must do what’s best for you.

And that is alright! Utilize your resources, tools, and new found family in recovery. Sit at home and binge watch some television. But, whatever you do, do not wallow, do not feel bad for yourself.

Yes, you have done this to yourself, but you will get through this! That is a guarantee! You can keep putting one foot in front of the other and even if you walk through the living room to answer the door and stub your toe on the coffee table, break the lamp on the end table, and trip on the dog as you make your way to the door, it’s all going to be okay. A little clumsiness and a little bad luck never got in the way for too long, just pick yourself up and dust yourself off and remember — God did NOT bring you as far as he has for a stubbed toe or a broken lamp to get in the way of His miracles.

And try, really try to “put on” gratefulness by remembering that deep inside you are GRATEFUL for everything that is happening in your life. Let me remind you that you can be grateful for things you can see and things happening that you cannot see. Getting this far is a miracle for which to be grateful.

And never forget the miracle that YOU are and that YOU mean something to someone and that God did not keep you alive or save your life for nothing! If you keep putting one foot in front of the other, eventually this year’s holidays will be one of may where you can look back on and say “remember that one Thanksgiving?”

So let me end with this. Start a gratitude list now and keep adding to it throughout the next six weeks. Remember the positive and know that the Joy always comes in the morning.

Have a wonderful Holiday season everyone and remember God loves you and so do we!!!!

Bobbi Jo Reed is the author of, Beautifully Broken and Founder of The Healing House, Kansas City, MO